Tuesday, October 28, 2008

2008 october 28, tuesday

6:08 AM - I woke up. I went online.

I came across Kengi's embedded youtube video, LA's Skid Row, on vloggerheads. I looked at his blog. I learned he was HIV homeless. It was very heartbreaking. I walked in the same shoes many times before.

I gathered some wealthy information for an hour or two. I posted it on the VH.

I looked at more Kengi's videos and read more of his blog. Man, he ALREADY know the wealth of information. He got it going on. He is with APLA, LA Gay Center & Hollywood Community Housing.

I read his post, Thank you Vlogger Heads. Some thing caught my attention.

I’ve never had such a warm welcome from so many awesome people any place online. In fact I have been banned and kicked off many networks for my posting on homelessness, cancer, sickle cell and HIV and each time I am told the very basic same thing.

“Your posts are depressing and people are complaining about them and you.”

The last line got to me. I can relate to it quite well. Some people complained about me too. I left a message on his post.

“Your posts are depressing and people are complaining about them and you.”

some people basically say the same thing about my videos of my life with miguel!

the videos are ANOTHER outlet to express our feelings.

10:05 AM - The View

10:51 AM - Donna called again. She was very impressed with the hiv homeless wealthy information and the guy I came upon this morning. I sent her his youtube channel. She is affected by Kengi's struggles. She used to be homeless; we both can relate to him. She have a very good heart.

She likes to read my blog every day. THANX! Hmm, I have another reason to do the blog every day. People like Donna make it worthwhile to do the blog. People may live far away from each other; we still can relate and connect to each other on the web.

11 AM - ABC 7 news.

The TV was muted during the news; I just watched some videos.

1 PM - Days Of Our Lives.

1:15 PM - I'm making mac & cheese for lunch. I missed breakfast! Why am i cooking now? I'm planning to go grocery shopping this evening. I don't want to cook tonight. I will be tired too.

1:44 PM - Eating mac & cheese.

2 PM - Turned off the TV.

2:54 PM - I felt like a nap is coming on. I think I pop in a DVD and fall asleep.

2:55 PM - I closed the door. I used the restroom. I looked at some DVD. Even single time, it's hard to pick out a DVD. I have so many of them. I laid on my back and fell alseep.

3:21 PM - I settled on Good Times. That's what I need the most. Good Times!

3:23 PM - I popped in the DVD. I turned on the TV.

3:24 PM - I opened the door.

3:25 PM - I played the DVD. I laid on the couch.

4:45 PM - I finished 3 episodes of Good Times, the first season. I put it on ABC 7 news.

5:48 PM - Nothing in the mail. Miguel got something thou.

6 PM - I left for some water. I did something stupid. I haven't hear from Miguel in a while. I stopped by Lucy's to see if he was there. Nope, he wasn't. In a way, I felt badly the way we left things on Thursday morning. He wanted to get some clothes and the money I stole from him. I turned him away quickly. We parted ways.

He forced my hands big time on Wednesday night. His drinking problem got me into BIG TROUBLE. Yesterday, I got my first apartment warning. I'm not worry about it thou. Miguel won't be coming around any more. He only got himself to blame. I mentioned over a million of times to stop coming to my place DRUNK! Yet, he kept on showing up DRUNK.

I kinda miss him, but not his drinking. I could do without it. I still think about him once in a while. I wondered what happened to him. Is he is in the hospital again? Was he kill? Did a car hit him? Did he move in with another friend? Is he in jail for intoxicated? WHO KNOWS?

I felt guilty. I felt reponsible too. I shouldn't feel either, but I do. I need to stop feeling responsible and guilty. It is quite hard thou. We have been together since 1999 on and off. We had lots of history.

I hoped I could run into him at Lucy's this evening. I don't have to talk to him. I could look at him, knowing he may not doing that well. Yes, I would cry secretly. Hopefully, he LEARNED his lesson by now and went to rehab.

6:20 PM - Home

8 PM - It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

I was about to watch 90210. Come on. It is ALWAYS fun to watch the Peanuts every year. I can watch 90210 online tomorrow or the next day. I'm glad I watch The Peanuts. Another "lost" Peanuts special followed.

8:30 PM - You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown.

I don't remember seeing that 1973 special. It is a lesser known Peanuts special. I learned that Woodstock made his first ever appearance on this special.

9 PM - Dancing With The Stars.

10 PM - KTLA news

10:32 PM - dizzylizzybeth left a message on my video, father's rights & unborn baby

I agree with you!! And thank u soo much for the video response!!

This is my response to dizzylizzybeth.

Thanx you.

You inspired me to do this video.

I always felt that way.

It might be HER BODY, but the unborn baby is THEIRS!

11 PM - The TV is muted.

Once again, the video took lots of takes. This time, I read the whole thing. The last take was good. I sounded like a robot. LOL

I will put the video in a new post.

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