2001 October 3, Wednesday

Miguel and I got lost to the Medical place. I made a wrong turn. The medical place sent me to the SSI office on Wilshire for a referral. I went back and waited over 30 minutes. The medical would be active at 11 AM. I can't use it before then. We went to his office to pick up his schedule. I asked him, "Want to go to Smart & Final? We forgot to buy paper towels and fabric softener." He turned me down; he was in pain since this morning.

Revenge foiled once again. I hope I could take him to the free clinic with me to put him on this spot. I noticed I have STD for a couple of days. I went there yesterday, the STD clinic wasn't open. If he accused me of sleeping around, I would show him the receipts to Hollywood Spa and the motel. Miguel gave me the STD, more heartache!!

11:30 AM, I finished my shopping early. I stay in the long line to buy me time. I didn't want to go to the clinic early; it wasn't meant to be. I got there early. Five till Noon, I went to the second floor and waited. I was the second person in line. I waited about 90 minutes till they see me. I answered the questions truthfully. They sent me to the restroom for a urine example. I waited another 30/45 minutes. A longtime friend, Robert, showed up with his newspaper. We didn't talk at all till the end. I didn't want to disturb his reading. We caught up on old times, namely the street days. They called me.

I took some medication, 4 purple one and one white one. This was the only time for the medication. He checked me out, and, yes, I have STD, the Gonorrhea. All thanks goes to Miguel, who gave it to me! Robert went in the same questions room. I waited in the hallway for another test, blood work for another STD. He came out; everything is fine. I mentioned I was there since Noon. The nurse came out for me. I excuse myself from Robert. She checked both arms, the right one is the good one. I was all done. I walked out and told Robert, "goodbye!"

I came home. Miguel was in the restroom. He wondered where I was, "shopping." I realized we still had two boxes of fabric softener. He claimed we didn't have any. It brought us to six from four boxes. No biggie thou. I love to stock up, the best way to go. I saw Miguel in bed. He says, "He didn't saw them in the spot." I noticed I was kinda out of it from the medication. I lay down for a while. We watched TV for a while. We were both falling asleep. He asked, "Where was I?" I said, "Smart & Final." He asked again; I gave him the same answer again. He asked once more. I said, "The bank and Smart & Final!" I saw right through him, he felt like I was somewhere else. I was gone for a long time. If I told him the truth, he may deny everything!

5:30 PM, Miguel went to work. I watched my soaps. He came home during Passions, passed 7 PM. They sent him home early; he got there late. The roads were being work on! He wants another job. He claimed he would punish him for arriving late by giving him less workdays. It happened before last year. I may not tell him till tomorrow after work. He needs to wake up at 4:30AM and be there at 6.

My friend IM me about the medical card. Everything went fabulous! Last night online, I found out where to go about the card. I even book marked the sites too for the next time. I dreaded to tell him about the STD! Boy, I was right on the money! I wished I didn't tell him at all. I have to explain again and again and again.

I said, "I went to the free clinic too, bad news thou." He asked, "Why?" I said, "STD." He asked, "What? You have STD?" I said, "I forgot the name of it...." He said, "Sexually transmitted disease.... syphilis or gonorrhea?" I said, "gonorrhea. I know who I got it from!" He asked, " From whom?" I said, "one sure fire guess." He kept on asking, "Who?" He wouldn't guess whom! I asked, "Who do I have sex with?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "I have not told him yet. He could blame me for sleeping around He asked, "Well, have u been sleeping around or he has been fooling around? I replied, "I am not like that!" He asked, "How did you get it? By topping him? Then check yourself for HIV too?"

I wanted to end this conversation so badly. I wished I hadn't brought STD up. I need to explain everything to him again and again and again. I said, "I think I tell him now." He said, "I think it is best to confront him. Do you have any medications you are taking?" I said, "I already took it. I wanted him to go with me to the clinic, I would have put him on the spot." He said, "Then do it but still u also have it. Have both of u checked for HIV?" I said, Hold on. It would be a while. I would tell him now." He said, "Okay."

I didn't tell Miguel about my STD. I may wait till tomorrow, the latest I wanted the perfect opportunity to come up!