Thanx for your wonderful support.
I am trying to reach out for help with my videos.
I want people to see FIRST HAND in the videos and to understand the effects that the alcohol is destroying OUR LIFE together - mine and his.
This is about getting help we both need for OUR addiction.
The videos are a plead for help with OUR LIFES.
Yet, some people does NOT see that.
7:30 AM - Someone called. Once again, no message. They called again. It was Miguel. Miguel? He claimed it was him TALKING. Talking? No one speak. Well, Miguel wanted me to go with him to MTA Lost & Found. Nah, I didn't want to. Now, Miguel doesn't want to go either. He think no one turn the bag in. After all, he lost his bag in downtown. No one can be trusted there! I persauded him to go. He better do it. He should get his bag AND the cell phone back. It have been a week now. MTA should have his bag by now.
10:19 AM - Well, I believed I am halfway through with the web site and the emails. I did the journal and few others. I think the next one is the poems. Man, it is taking all morning long! LOL. It's worth it thou. I don't want to lose my stuff before AOL Hometown close on Halloween. Well, back to the hard work. LOL.
I saw the apartment manager going back to his place. I went outside. I mentioned I still need to pay rent. He said come at 1 PM.
11 AM - I made another quick video. I moved my web site to my email. I must do it every single time. I can save my site that way. It is much easy to do. I don't think I will make another web site right now. It is too damn much work. The blog suits me the best.
11:18 AM - Miguel finally called. He waited and waited. They didn't have his bag. Oh well. I don't think anyone turn his bag in. I hung up the phone. Man, he sounded DRUNK!
Miguel called again. He cussed me out on the phone. "What's the fuck wrong with u?" he asked. With an attitude like that, Miguel is not WELCOME into my place. I told him not to come over. He begged me, "I need my sleep!" That's his tough luck.
Miguel buzzed me at the door. I let him in. DEAR LORD! Miguel is fucking drunk again! I confronted him. We got into a huge fight. I told him to leave, but Miguel didn't. He screamed at me. He went in the restroom for a little while. He came back, "Can I please stay?" "One more month," I said, stupidly.
A while later, Miguel passed out! THANK GOD! I won't hear from him!
12:50 PM - I turned on the AC. It is getting too hot.
I did my old poems in the email. Next up...the new ones!
1:30 PM - I pay the rent. I told the manager I will get a new bank next year. Last week, my old one went under!
I'm doing the new poems in the email. Lots of poems!
2 PM - I got some mango. It was good!
2:22 PM - I was done with the web site and the emails. I have everything from the journal to the poems to whatever. Wow! It took me a few hours! It was worth the time AND effect. I won't have to worry about Halloween!
2:35 PM - Now, I'm done. I forgot one piece!
I need to see about the AOL journal. I may do the same thing. I checked the journal. There were FOUR entires. No big deal. Kattalien is finish on AOL! I need to check out the other names.
3 PM - I checked out wehokatt. Well, it seems like that I don't need anything from wehokatt.
I found some Hollywood pictures on wehokatt. I sent them in a email. Those pics are the first ones I ever took of Hollywood.
I'm making sure I have everything from wehokatt.
3:40 PM - Wehokatt's web site is good to go. Everything is clear! Next stop: cruize4luv. Surprisely, cruize4luv have nothing! Next is kafalc3. I know that kafalc3 have something! Oops, I forgot! kafalc3 only have Miguel! It links to yahoo site!
I looked at the guestbook on AOL. Someone let me have it big time!
| Sunday 01/19/2003 8:21:30am | |
| Name: | Towknee |
| Homepage: | http://aol.com/ |
| E-Mail: | towknee@thepragmaticone.com |
| Comments: | You seem like just another bitter fag, just let it go already, and you admitted in your story you wanted to steal his stuff, that makes you no better off then he was, you deserve to be homeless, funny how you have aol now, i wonder whose computer yous stole. |
But, this message is great.
| Saturday 01/04/2003 9:19:58am | |
| Name: | ed |
| Homepage: | |
| E-Mail: | outdoorsfuna |
| Comments: | Your story is not rare,and your,,i'm a victom here. is very common in the gay world,remember you loved this guy for better or worse.now give him your respect and DONT AD HIS LAST NAME..and get over it.. |
Even back then, Miguel and I had some problems, the same stupid old problems! We came a long way. In a sense, it is on the other foot thou. The main differances are the apartment and the car. I lived with him on Gramercy. Now, he lives with me. Man, I kicked him out so many times. Yet, he didn't kick me out once at Gramercy. We drove his sister's car. Sadly, Miguel wrecked the car from drunk driving. Now, we both take the bus. I really don't miss driving. I HATED TO DRIVE. I took Miguel everywhere. I was his personal Taxi driver. LOL
4 PM - Okay, back to the web sites. Up next: UKEastEnders. I didn't do much with that site. Oh, how much I missed EastEnders! It's sad that KOCE dropped that wonderful soap.
Wouldn't u know it?
You can now watch full episodes of EastEnders on the BBC iPlayer. Each episode is available for seven days - so don't miss your chance to watch!
Sadly, not for us fans in the states. You know the copyright issues!
Currently BBC iPlayer TV programmes are available to play in the UK only, but all BBC iPlayer Radio programmes are available to you. Why?
That really sucks!
4:30 PM - Miguel finally woke up. He used the restroom. He mentioned that he was hungry. I fixed him some scrambled eggs. He ate the eggs. He got himself a glass of milk and some mango. "Thanx. It was good," he said, "I'm not a bad person. I'm good." He thanked me for not letting him to sleep outside.
I'm done with UKEastEnders. I saw something funny on the site thou.
I finally made up mind. I decided to start my own EastEnders web site. It gave me great pleasure. I had an desire for a while. Tonight, I craved into my heart.
SPECIAL NOTE - I will do my best to cover every aspect of EastEnders. I will add more things at a later date.
DAMN! Am I lazy or what? The first and last time I work on UKEastEnders was on November 9, 2005. Damn! That was almost three years ago.
5 PM - I decided to take a break. I did the email all day long. I haven't look at other sites today or I twitter today!
First stop: Perez Hilton! I go to that site about every day.
5:45 PM - It's twitter time! I love reading all the latest from everyone.
I learned from daveyboyz that they will have a gathering in Hollywood on October 18, 2008. Hmm, I may go if I don't get sick like the last time. I came down with the flu.
6:12 PM - my first tweet of the day.
All day long, I copy and paste my web site to emails over 100 times! AOL hometown is closing on Halloween. I rather do it now, than wait!
6:25 PM - I turned off the AC. I was too cold.
I'm eating cheetos. I wanted a good snack. All day long, I ate fruit, nothing but fruit. Mango, pineapple and coconut.
7:30 PM - Miguel woke up on his own. I was about to after I used the restroom. He brought up the mail. I checked the mail. I went back inside. Miguel was in the restroom, getting ready to shower. I told him that there was no mail. That upset him.
8:02 PM - I signed up for Retroland.
8:18 PM - Miguel called his sister in law about the letter. He haven't got the letter yet. Maybe, it would come tomorrow. If not, he will go to her place to get a copy. He want that letter to get an apartment.
8:30 PM - Miguel turned on the TV.
Miguel mentioned that he wanted to ask for a day off on Wednesday. The boss already gave him Wednesday off. He can go to his court date.
10 PM - Miguel went to work.
I turned off the TV. I soaked the dirty dishes for a while, then I washed them. I brushed my teeth. I went online.
12:30 AM - Bed time.
6 AM - I woke up. I took a shower. I hid the money. I supposed to give Miguel some money for the new monthly bus pass. Last night, he wanted $200 from me. HUH? I don't have that kind of money. Besides, I won't get him that much money. It's Miguel's turn to pay the rent this month.
I upload the cloud pictures on the computer. I took some pics this past two days. I love the clouds.
I checked vloggerheads. Oops! What happened to vloggerheads? The time is 6:59 AM. Yes, I made a quick video about it! You bet I did.
OMG!
Do u see what I see?
This social network has been taken offline by its owner.
I thought Paul and Tom said the outsiders will take a peak starting today at 6AM.
The time is 6:59 AM.
7 AM - Well, I'm restarting the journal once again. I haven't written in a few monthes. I mostly put videos through youtube. Since my videos can NOT play on the blog, I uploaded the videos on the blog. Yesterday, I made huge process with the blog. I replaced most non working youtube videos. It's getting pretty awesome. The updated blog is the bomb.
7:30 AM - Miguel just got home. I mentioned that I will get the bus pass for him at 10 AM.
While I made some scrambled eggs, Miguel found a old bathhouse reciept on top of the TV. He wondered what it was. I told him that I found the old receipt. He think I still go there. "Don't you trust me?" I said. "Why should I?" he said.
Miguel plugged the headphones to the TV and turned it on. He took off his work clothes. He watched the TV on the couch. I gave him his breakfast. I put some jello on mine. I hate it plain. He mentioned no more sugar! I looked at the jar. There was no zero fat! I sat at the computer and ate.
One of my favourite youtubers, whatthebuck, is in NY Post. Buck Starts Here was a great article. "Smile with your eyes. Don't waste the magic." i really LOVE that quote!
8:45 AM - Prison Break on Hulu! Man, that show is very intense. It keeps u on your toes, just like 24. I don't watch that show on Monday. I watch Dancing With The Stars instead. Miguel likes DWTS.
9:42 AM - Vloggerheads is online again. I posted no outsiders video!
10 AM - I went to Lucy's. They didn't have the monthly bus pass; they ran out. Now, I have to get from MTA in downtown. It is extremely hot! I will wait till 11 AM.
11 AM - I went to the bus stop. It was very hot. I felt like to pass out. I think I waited a good 20 minutes in the hot sun. Then, I got on the bus. I saw a old friend, Ompie. (bad speller here.) I forgot his name. I have not seen him in a long time. We caught up with old times and new times too.
He mentioned he was invited to live at Waterloo. He didn't want to. He felt like death was there. He was right about that. It creep him out. So far, i think three people died at Waterloo. Some deaths I even didn't know about it. I didn't know Edna died long time ago. I haven't seen her in ages. Few monthes ago, Gaberial mentioned she killed herself. She recently lost her sister; she couldn't take it. All this time, I thought she moved away.
Ompie mentioned he is going to fashion school from Noon to 5:30 PM. he said that fashion is not that easy. they need to know the measurements. I didn't know he wanted to be a designer. It have been his dream for the longest time. I mentioned I have no life. Nothing is happening. He suggested I volunteer. That's a good ideal.
My stop was coming. I got up. My water bottle fell to the ground. I picked it up. I went straight to the subway. The train came quick. Then, I got off and saw the line was pretty long. I think I waited about 20 minutes. The MTA worker gave me a plastic TAP card. I have never use one before. She said it is good every month.
I went back to the subway. I didn't know how to use the TAP. I may use it wrong. I waited for the train. I travelled to Santa Monica and waited for the bus in the hot sun. Bus 4 came. I was the last one to get on. I used the TAP. It works perfectly. I think MTA want to get rid of the paper pass. Saving money on paper that way.
I arrived him before 1 PM. Miguel woke up. Damn! He use the orange things and he still woke up. I was not that loud. I was quite as a mouse. I told him about the TAP. He mentioned he knew about it. I put the TAP with his stuff. He went back to sleep.
2 PM - I woke Miguel up. He need to call some people. I need to pay the rent! It looks like I need to pay the rent tomorrow. The apartment manager is out for the day. I went back to my place. Miguel finally got up. He looked through his papers for the number.
Miguel asked for his change. Change? What change? I don't ole him any money, let alone some change. I have no ideal how much change he is talking about. I mentioned that the rent is paid for. (Which is tomorrow.) He don't have to worry about the rent this month. I can pay the rent in November! Hey, why not!
2:25 PM - Miguel wanted to use my credit card again! This time, it is $35. See? I'm a nice guy! LOL. Miguel really want to get this done as sson as possible. He need the certific for the court. He started a course online.
4:45 PM - I turned off the AC. It was getting too cold. It was on since the morning.
6:10 PM - Miguel finally finished his financial management course. It took him over three hours to complete it. He did great on the tests. 12 chapters and 12 tests. He called them back to confirm he finished the tests. They will fax the papers to her and send him a copy at home.
7 PM - Miguel cooked some meat for me with a salad. The meat was so tasty. I ate the whole meat. It was very big. He will eat later at the hotel.
7:30 PM - Then, Miguel took a shower.
8 PM - America's Funniest Home Videos on KDOC 56. Love Bob Saget!
I found out that AOL Hometown will be history by the end of the month! Damn! I had their web site since the late 1990's. That is a big surprise. Then again, yesterday, I found out the AOL Journal will be history on October 31. DAMN! I like their journals. Now, I need to find a new journal and home page for my stuff. I may start tonight. I may start a new blog on blogger and put everything under their screen names.
9 PM - It was the season finale of America's Got Talent. Opera singer Neal E. Boyd is America’s Got Talent’s Best New Act.
Miguel picked Neal to win. So did I. Long time ago. The moment I saw Neal sing, I had a feeling that he will win! Man, I was right!
Neal reminds me of Paul Potts. They came from the same background.
1o PM - Miguel went to work. I copy and paste my stuff on the emails. It is the best way. I will have all my stuff in a email! I need to finish tomorrow.
11:30 PM - Bed time.
Miguel mentioned he want to move to his OWN apartment.
that will be good for the both of us.
we are both tired of the fighting.
I can't wait when he moves.
I can focus on my life once again.
Knowing Miguel, he won't be able hold down his NEW apartment and his job.
it is ALREADY written in stone.
When that happens, I won't show him any mercy.
he won't be welcome to stay at my place.
not even to sleep.
it is time to regain my life.
Miguel will buy alcohol, get fucking drunk and pass out on my couch.Miguel checked his bag.
I admitted I stole HIS MONEY.
He demanded his money back.I refused.
Yes, I know stealing is wrong.
My point is...whenever Miguel have money, he drinks.
In closing, I told him that "time and time again, do not come home drunk!"
2004, March 4, Thursday - I have a quicky funny SCAREY story to tell u from this morning!
I ran into some trouble with the police at the bus stop.
I was on my way to pick up my mail at the post office in West Hollywood.
I waited for the bus on La Cienega/Wilshire, playing the Tetris game on gameboy.
I looked up and noticed the police got out of the car.
I figured they were going somewhere.
They went straight to me and.........presto, i was an suspect! lol
They wanted to see me ID.
At first, I refused.
I wanted to know why.
They asked me if I was sptting on people.
I said, "No."
They asked me for my ID again; I gave them my bus ID.
They continued to ask about spitting.
I told them many times "NO, I did not spit on anyone!"
They didn't believed me at all.
The police mentioned he wore a white t shirt and a leather coat!
For a moment I was worried.
I got scared.
So badly, I wanted to run away.
It really look like I did the spitting on someone.
I was also wearing a white t shirt and a leather coat!Of course, they thought I really did it!
The black guy who called the police showed up and confessed I was not the one!
The spitting guy had CURLY HAIR, white t shirt, the leather coat and BLACK sunglasses!
I was so gay happy that I was off the hook, thanx to the black guy.
I don't have CURLY HAIR or black sunglass; my hair is short and I am FOUR EYES FREAK! lol
If that black guy didn't show up; I bet I will end up in jail for the weekend!
LOL
It could have been worse!
The spitting guy could have robbed a bank or something bad!
Thanx God that it was not a MAJOR CRIME!
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